Review: Lemon Meringue Pie Murder (2003)

It seemed that people could walk through life without causing a ripple, leading ordinary and uneventful lives. It was only after they'd been murdered that people took notice of them. And that thought was depressing.

Hannah sighed as she approached the private booth where her mother, Carrie, and Norman waited. There was only one cure for depression and that was chocolate. If her mother's cake wasn't gone by now, it would be shortly.

Synopsis: It's summer in Lake Eden and Hannah's younger sister Michelle is coming home for a visit. But before the family reunion can get under way, Hannah discovers the body of a local resident in the woman's basement. The only clue is one of Hannah's luscious lemon meringue pies on the kitchen counter with only one slice missing...even though from the looks of the victim's kitchen, she was planning an intimate dinner for two.

Grade: C

This is the first entry in the series that has struck a sour note with me (ba-dum-CHA!). The usually likeable Hannah here turns into a prude, sputtering with righteous indignation at such afronts as green hair, short skirts, alcohol and the possibility of romance for the developmentally disabled. She's becoming very difficult to stomach (rrrrrrrrimshot! Okay, I'll stop.)

Luckily, Lake Eden is still well-realized and interesting, the tension with her mother is still well done and the addition of a third Swensen sister is outstanding. The recipes are outstanding (the Cinnamon Crisps in particular sound amazing).

But Hannah needs to just pick a dude already.

Review: Death by the Dozen (2011)

"Does Vic know you're on of the judges?" Mel asked.

"I'm sure he must," Dutch said. "I was surprised he left World Chef to come and be a judge. But then, I'm sure when he realized it was another opportunity to screw me over, he jumped at the chance."

"Dutch, be serious." Mel shook her head.

"I am. They were filming in India, so why would he leave the shoot early unless he had a reason?" The bitterness in Dutch's voice was as tart as Mel's lemon curd but lacked its subtle aftertaste.

Synopsis: The Fairy Tale Bakery gang enter a baking contest where Mel has a relationship with every one of the judges, and the DeLaura brothers have airhorns.

Grade: C

Dear cozy mystery authors: not every series heroine needs a cat or dog. Although I confess, I did not totally hate Captain Jack.

My favorite parts of this series remain Olivia Puckett, villainess and professional unhinged Scottsdale businesswoman, and the 7 DeLaura brothers, who are like Snow White's 7 dwarfs, but with airhorns.

Didn't think this particular outing came together as well as previous recipes (see what I did there? BOO YAH) because of all the dang shenanigans at the cooking competition, but the romance seems to be bubbling along nicely, with just the right amount of sugar balancing out the lemon juice. (Okay I'll stop).

Also, and I know this is weird but: I love the cover of the book, and how after you read the book, the cover makes much more sense. This is the type of planning that warms the cockles of my devious little heart.

Next up: a recipe for candied heart-cockles in a crispy ginger crust.

Pumpkin creme brulee and the romantic heroine:

via author Penny Watson's blog:

Lucy was somewhat mortified that her hands shook each time she waited on him. When she leaned over the table to serve him her pumpkin crème brulée, his delicious scent hit her like a steam engine...smoky rum and dark spices. Rough callused hands gripped the shaking dish, and saved her the embarrassment of dropping the dessert in his lap. Horrified by her clumsiness, and totally unnerved by her reaction to him, she fled. But not before she noticed him peeking down her blouse. The look of hunger in his eyes had nothing to do with her crème brulée.

--Penny Watson, Sweet Inspiration

Very very tempting... (also, blog post contains the recipe for pumpkin creme brulee and now I am stuck at work thinking yummy thoughts and having to be content with a Clif Bar wah)

Your moment of culinary zen:

From Elizabeth Bear's "Lucifugous":

Mrs. Smith was already seated on the divan, applying a silver fork to the pastry on her canary-yellow Meissen cake plate. She had acknowledged Sebastien earlier. Now, he touched the teacup to his lips before he set it, and its saucer, on the side table. ‘Mrs. Smith,’ he said. ‘You seem very calm.’

Her eyebrows rose over the frame of her spectacles. ‘I’m screaming inside,’ she said, and laid the fork down beside her plate. ‘But that’s no reason not to eat.’

A classic locked-room mystery set aboard a dirigible, with vampires and steampunk, that moment with the canary-yellow Meissen cake plate is still my favorite part of the story. "Lucifugous" appears in the collection New Amsterdam.

Review: "Sharpshooter" (2002)

It always interested Sunny to see how a person reacted to a glass of wine or a new food. It was a one-second preview of how they would act when faced with the unpredictable, a snapshot of how they approached experience. Some people were hardly aware they had a glass in their hand, and the wine in it would be gone before they realized they were drinking. Charlie wasn't a connoisseur and didn't pretend to be one, but he was clearly interested enough to want to stop and taste what he was drinking. Meanwhile, Monty was explaining why the rocky soil in St.-Emilion, France, was superior to the rocky soil anywhere else in the world, and why this particular wine displayed its qualities better than most.

Synopsis: Wine weenies in the Napa Valley band together to drink wine, get accused of murder, drink wine, fight about insect invasions, drink wine and then accuse each other of the murder in question. Leftover wine winds up in everyone's coffee.

Grade: C+

You guys, I really, really wanted to give this one an A.

I first ran across this series by reading the sequel to Sharpshooter, Death by the Glass, and I'm very glad I did, because it's a much better book. Call it debut jitters or working the kinks out, but there are three major things wrong with Sharpshooter:

1. I loathe the trope of the amateur sleuth who calls up a hard-working police officer and tells him to meet her for coffee in 10 minutes, and he drops everything and goes. Seriously? That's a realistic picture of law enforcement. Add that to the evidence-tampering our amateur sleuth gets up to and she should have found her ass in jail, not in a booth at Bismarck's.

2. This whole idea that said amateur sleuth can run around all la, I just dropped by to see your place and...oh...ACCUSE YOU OF MURDER. OR INFIDELITY. OR CHEATING ON YOUR TAXES. WHATEVER YOU'VE GOT GOING.

I mean, I'm sure it's a feasible thing, but I'm also sure that amateur sleuth would get her face slapped right off her head at some point.

3. There are plotholes, and then there are the Lincoln Tunnels o' Plot. There is, for example, a subplot about thievery at the restaurant that has hands-down the least believable solution ever. Also, the whole ending to the book. Just... what? What? No. NO! Very nearly OH JOHN RINGO NO.

So why didn't this book get an F? Simple. Because Gordon can write.

Her descriptions of the Napa Valley and the intricacies of winemaking and the wine business and sustainable agriculture are A-worthy. They're bleeding-off-the-page vivid and fascinating, so by the time you realize you've learned something, you just don't care because the prose is so beautiful.

Sunny McCoskey is the owner and chef at Wildside in St. Helena, north of Napa, and when her friend Wade Skord is charged with murdering the unlikeable scion of Beroni Vineyards, McCoskey throws herself into the case. Despite the obvious police interference aspect. Despite the fact that when it becomes clear she's unhinged, Wade asks her to stop. Despite the fact that you know, owning a restaurant takes actual work (Hannah Swensen, line one).

Sure things get solved eventually but I have read a ton of mysteries, people, and the underpinnings of who did what? Are as flimsy as well-baked pie crust. The why makes sense, but in no way the who, and the Boss Battle at the end is ludicrous.

However, those sentences. Those sentences. So lush and plummy and lickable, and the wealth of detail about the Napa Valley lifestyle and the restaurant life, it is pornworthy, is what, and in this case it lets Gordon basically get away with murder.

Recommended for hardcore foodies and oenophiles only.

Let's get criminal, criminal / I wanna get criminaaaaaaal

Yeah I know. Big dork. But check out how that song's gotten stuck in your head now for the rest of the afternoon. Mm-hm. These things happen.



Super excited to be participating in Criminal Plots II, a reading challenge over at Jen's Book Thoughts. Despite the fact that I read 119 books last year* I rarely sign up for challenges because I read in all kinds of different genres and am easily distracted. But this, this is surely doable even for me.

The rules are simple: read six books this year that correspond to:

1. Novel with a weapon in the title;

2. Book published at least 10 years ago;

3. Book written by an author from the state/province/etc. where you live;

4. Book written by an author using a pen name;

5. Crime novel whose protagonist is the opposite gender of the author;

6. A stand-alone novel written by an author who writes at least one series.

I can do this!

In fact, I've already got the first three picked out:

1. Novel with a weapon in the title:




2. Book published at least 10 years ago:



(published in 1998, which is apparently more than 10 years ago although HOLY COW, REALLY??)

3. A stand-alone novel written by an author who writes at least one series:



Although I'm not sure if that last one counts; I love Elaine Viets' Francesca Vierling series, and as far as I can tell, this Josie Marcus entry, while being part of a different series, appears to be her only foodie mystery, so for me, it's a standalone. (Does that make sense? Discuss.)

I'll have to give that last one some thought. Culinary mysteries do have a tendency to appear as series, so it's not inconceivable that this is as standalone as I can manage. Either way though, I've been looking forward to this Viets book for quite some time, so I might have to devour it first. Nom nom nom.

Anyone else up for joining Jen's challenge?





*My GoodReads goal was 120. Missed it, by that much ][

Review: "Deathday Party" (1999)

"Like I said, people who are careless with their gardening can't be trusted. You just never know what they have in their background. That's why we've got to get out of here, Jane, dear. I am not used to this kind of thing, you know."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, neither am I. I mean, it's been years since anyone, excuse me, anything tried to impale me with pruning shears."

Synopsis: Southern decorating belle Hillary and her fish-out-of-water assistant Jane agree to cater a party for an eccentric Gothic family, but get trapped at the house by a storm. Then bodies start cropping up everywhere except the family cemetery. It's just that kind of party.

Grade: A-

While this book's technically the second of Carter's Decorating Duo of Deduction series (#1 was Leading an Elegant Death and #3 is Red Wine Goes with Murder) it's all about catering and includes a recipe, so I'm cheerfully including it here.

Broke single mother and California transplant Jane Ferguson takes a job with Hillary Scarborough, the Martha Stewart of the South, despite not knowing a glue gun from a frosting bag. Still growing accustomed to Southern eccentricities, Jane still boggles at their latest catering job: a birthday party for America Elizabeth Bean, a dead woman renowned for having killed someone who may or may not already be dead. But when a storm traps Jane and Hillary at the Bean mansion, they find their hostess dead but unable to stay in her coffin. More bodies follow suit, none of them in the family cemetery, however. And why does the local gas station attendant look just like the telephone repairman and an out-of-town preacher called in to do the honors at the party?

Cozies by now have a ton of tropes attached to them: the amateur sleuth with the failed love life, usually including a terrible ex-husband and a burgeoning relationship with the local lawman (check, check); a sassy sidekick less skilled at detecting (check); and a small town or family full of secrets (check). Bonus points if one of the sleuthing duo is a terrible driver (yup, check).

But there were two things that made this mystery really work for me. One, the banter between Jane and Hillary is phenomenal without straining credulity (a lot like the best of Mary Daheim's Judith McGonigal-Flynn and her cousin Renie) and contains a handful of laugh-out-loud moments.

The other was that one of the biggest cozy tropes, that the amateur detective is usually also a harried mother and failed domestic doyenne here is done to perfection. While Hillary's perfection in these areas highlights Jane's flaws Jane never lets it cow her and she stands up to Hillary repeatedly. You get to see how her detection skills more than make up for all the dust bunnies on her rugs.

I am deeply suspicious of amateur sleuths who have everything pulled together and still manage to have flawless hair, eyes the color of farting cornflowers and "comfortably rounded" figures. Dude, give me the whip-smart, unbrushed, covered-in-cat-hair detectives any day of the week.

I suspect part of the popularity of the Harried Amateur is commentary on the backlash against women who entered the workplace in large numbers during the late 70s and 80s. Hear me out: so many cozies that feature these women were also written by female authors, who en masse, have the effect of saying, look, I may not be the Angel of the Household, but my intelligence more than makes up for that.

Which has nothing to do with food. :)

One recipe included in the book, Hillary's Brandy Sauce, which sounds awesome. I did wish for the recipe for Hillary's pecan and cranberry quickbread, as well as more of a focus on what she recommends the Beans serve at their deathday party as a type of clue to funeral meats and traditions and whatnot, but I wasn't sorry at all that the omission of those things came at the cost of more plot and a slightly madcap dash around a modern-day House of Usher. Highly recommended.